In March 2017, I noted that some courts had moved toward recognizing “unconventional” families, highlighting Dawn M. v. Michael M., a decision awarding tri-custody to a threesome who had agreed to conceive and raise a child together. But another New York court considering the same issue recently reached the opposite conclusion in Tomeka N.H. v. Jesus R. The decision in Tomeka N.H. shows how difficult it is for modern families to know which parental rights will be upheld by the courts. Until the Legislature addresses the issue, tri-custody will continue to be debated by the courts—leaving many families without the certainty they deserve.
Read moreWhose Ring Is It, Anyway?: When life doesn’t go according to plan, who keeps the engagement ring?
Engagement rings can be complicated. During happy times, an engagement ring represents love, commitment and the promise of a happily ever after. But that same ring sometimes becomes a symbol of broken hearts and promises—and an expensive item to argue over in the event of separation. People fight for engagement rings for all sorts of reasons: as a reminder of a happier time, as a valuable asset that can be easily sold or because the ring is a family heirloom. Like I said: complicated. The law doesn’t always take account of those complications—which is why many couples today are making their own agreement about what to do with the ring if things don’t work out.
Read moreAdvice from Children of Divorce (Part IV): “I would give my mother one piece of advice—to be kinder to herself.”
In Part IV of this series of posts, my friend, Y, shares how his experience as a child of divorce shaped the advice he would give parents going through separation.
Read moreAdvice from Children of Divorce (Part III): "The children should feel like this is the best decision for the whole family, not just the parents."
In Part III of this series of posts with real-life reflections from children of divorce, my friend, D, shares the advice that she wishes she could have given her parents during their separation.
Read moreAdvice from Children of Divorce (Part II): “Fight to be in your child’s life—and fight for your ex to be in your child’s life.”
As I mentioned last week, I am so grateful to my friends who are children of divorce for offering the advice they wish they could have given their parents during the pivotal time in their lives when they were navigating their divorce. Thank you to my friend, M, for sharing her unique insights.
Read moreDivorcing with Kids: Advice from Children of Divorce (Part I)
One of the most common questions I get from my clients is how to talk to their kids—and how to get the kids through a divorce. It’s an emotional and scary time, and the last thing any of us wants is to say or do the “wrong” thing. If you Google “what to tell the kids about divorce,” you’ll find experts with academic advice—but my clients still wonder how real people work through these very difficult issues in real life. So I turned to my closest friends who are children of divorce for their help.
Read moreHow The 2017 Tax Cut Laws Will Change Divorce
The Tax Cut and Jobs Act of 2017 (“TCJA”) has been a hot topic of discussion among divorce attorneys since it was signed into law last year. TCJA will have significant implications for divorcing couples—although the exact effects are still largely unknown. Most divorce attorneys have concluded that TCJA will lower spousal maintenance payments; however, I’m interested in another—even more likely, but much less-noticed—effect of the law.
Read moreIs My Lawyer Slowing Down My Divorce?
“I’m in litigation and I think my lawyer is slowing down my divorce. Is he (or she) drawing this process out to make more money off of me?” I’ve heard this countless times—usually from clients who are unhappy with their process, the size of their bill, or both. It’s likely that your litigator is slowing down your divorce—but not necessarily in money-grubbing way you think. In my experience, most lawyers try to work efficiently. Hours grow because of the nature of the litigation process itself—which is one reason why it’s so important for couples to consider their options before retaining counsel.
Read moreIt's Not Too Late to Mediate
Many people have told me lately that they regret hiring a lawyer to litigate their divorce. They say they’re tired of the acrimony that comes with litigation. They tell me they’re unhappy with the war-like tactics, confused that they’ve been instructed not to communicate with their soon-to-be-ex and worried that they’ve lost control over the process and outcome. But the worst part is that many of them don’t know that they still have options! No divorcing couple is, or should be, tied to a process that isn’t working for them. It’s never too late to mediate.
Read moreA Key Step Forward for Parental Rights in Modern Families
New York courts are continuing to prove that they are dedicated to protecting the rights of the LGBT community. In an important recent case, the Appellate Division applied the “presumption of legitimacy”—the concept that a child born during a marriage is the legitimate child of the couple—to married same-sex partners. Applying the presumption of legitimacy—which comes along with key parental rights and protections—was especially enlightened in the circumstances of this case, where the child was not a DNA match to both parents. For many LGBT families, the decision reflects a critical step forward in establishing the non-biological parent’s rights.
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