In Part III of this series of posts with real-life reflections from children of divorce, my friend, D, shares the advice that she wishes she could have given her parents during their separation.
First Initial: D
Current Age: 30
Gender: F
Age When Your Parents Separated/Divorced: 10
1. Now that you're able to look back on your parents' divorce, what piece of advice do you wish you could have given them to make the divorce easier on you or to better support you through the transition?
I wish that my parents didn't speak negatively about each other/the divorce in front of me. I would advise parents to try very hard to keep the negative commentary about the divorce itself/the other parent away from the children as much as possible. When discussing the divorce, speak about how the transition is for the best/will make family life happier for everyone. The children should feel like this is the best decision for the whole family, not just the parents.
2. What is one thing you wish your parents had told you during the process (or what is the most helpful thing your parents told you)?
I wish that my parents were more transparent about the changes that would come with the divorce—e.g., how our living arrangements and financial situation would change. I recommend that parents prepare their children as far ahead as possible so that there aren't any abrupt changes to the children's day-to-day routines and lifestyle.